FONSECA SHOW 08/08/17

IT’S TUESDAY AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT TO GET POWER BALL TICKETS! WORST FIRST DATES. FRONT PAGE NEWS AND MORE.

INSTANT PHONER: A Canadian woman, named Kaylee Kapital, recently went on a Tinder date that ended with her and her date at the morgue where he worked.

The Sun quotes her as saying; “It was at night by this time and hospitals at night are really scary. The lights aren’t on, it’s dim, you just don’t want to be there. I can tell we’re in a morgue and I was like ‘we should not be here this is not ok’. So then he opens one of the fridges and pulls out this little sweet old lady and is like ‘have you ever seen a dead body before?’ Oh my god what have I gotten myself into – I’m gonna be in this morgue next.”

Survey: “Where is the strangest place you or someone you know has been taken on a (first) date? What funny or weird thing happened? Was there a second date?”

Trending …
– Biggest DVD Releases This Week: The Fate of the Furious, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Going In Style and Snatched


– Biggest iTunes Streaming Releases This Week:
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Disney / Buena Vista Aug 08, 2017
– The Miami Herald claims a 3D version of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video is going to debut at the Venice Film Festival. The video is 14 minutes long


– The Atlanta Journal-Constitution claims Honey Boo Boo’s sister Pumpkin is pregnant.
Honey Boo Boo is quoted by the paper as saying; “I think Mama will be an alright grandma. I mean, she can’t really see, but she’ll do good!”
– Entertainment Tonight claims WE TV has renewed ”Mama June: From Not to Hot”for a second season.
– ESPN claims the Wisconsin State Fair is selling a new menu item called The Fat Elvis Shake. It features banana ice cream, a fried peanut butter cup and bacon bits. Fox News claims cricket nachos are also being sold
– The Miami Herald claims the Dolphins considered signing Tim Tebow before adding quarterback Jay Cutler to their roster to replace the injured Ryan Tannehill.
– WHIO claims a 1792 penny was recently auctioned off for $211,500.

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WARM AND FUZZY

Police Officer Buys Clothes For Shoplifter: CP24 News claims a Toronto police officer recently bought a shirt and tie for a shoplifter. The officer and his partner were called to a Walmart after a loss prevention officer apprehended the 18 year-old.

Officer Niran Jeyanesan tells CP24 that he bought the clothes for the shoplifter because he had a job interview. “This young person has been facing his own difficulties in life and he was looking to straighten out all that by providing for his family and trying to get a job. This individual didn’t have any resources. He wanted to go get that job. That was in his mind. I think he truly made a mistake.

Dude Looks Like A Lady

Rocket News recently posted a survey in which 4,043 women were asked what they would do if they had a man’s body for a day.

1 go topless at the beach… 21%

2 flirt with a woman… 20%

3 wear my hair in a style I can’t as a woman… 12%

4 rent adult videos… 12%

5 go to a bar… 11%

6 wear a suit… 11%

7 use my deep voice to sing songs I usually can’t… 6%

Male Makeup Counters

The International Business Times says male makeup counters could soon start popping up in department stores.

L’Oreal manager Vismay Sharma is quoted by the paper as saying; “There could be counters in department stores aimed at men in the next five to seven years. Today you have a very small proportion of men who want to use make-up products, but that proportion is growing and it will continue to grow. I think it’s just awareness – two things are happening: men know they can use make-up, and they know what it does when you use it. The second thing is that the taboos are going, so between my generation and my son’s generation the taboos are very different.”

CLICK TO READ TODAYS GOSSIP

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pet Survey

A new survey by Woodstream reveals that 32% of men and 41% of women think bad behavior by a pet is a deal-breaker in a relationship. Other findings:

– 31% of people say a pet’s behavior is a reflection of their owner’s behavior.

– 55% of people won’t date someone who keeps a spider as a pet

– 42% of people won’t go on a second date with someone who has a pet snake

– 21% of men and 17% of women won’t date someone who sleeps with their cat.

– 18% of men and 12% of women won’t date someone who sleeps with a small dog.

– 20% of men and 26% of women are turned off by pet owners who kiss their pet on the mouth.

– 34% of men find it creepy when someone talks to their pet like a baby.

Bad Habit Survey

A new survey by IKEA reveals that 42% of people cut their toenails on their couch. Other findings:

– 23% of people have eaten an old piece of candy they found in their couch

– 21% of people have spilled something on a cushion and then flipped it instead of cleaning it.

– 21% of people have faked yawns to get guests to go home

– 31% of people pass gas and then blame it on their pet

Dear Fonseca:

My wife and I recently got into an argument over her Facebooking. I looked over her shoulder the other night as she was writing to a high school friend about their upcoming reunion. She and the guy were cordial in high school. They have become true friends over the past 18 months. They are planning to hang together at their 20th reunion. My wife ended both of her correspondences with a kiss emoji. She says I have no right to be jealous because the emoji is harmless. I asked, “If it was harmless why did you minimize your screen when I kept walking by?” I think the emoji could lead to something else. Am I being paranoid? Is it wrong for her to use the kiss emoji?

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